Hi. I just wanted to come on here before bed. I’m struggling. One day I’m Good and on track, the next day, I am out of control and bingeing. Today was an out of control day. I am heartbroken at work and then I’m overloaded doing the job of two people. My boss has offered for me to hire a replacement but the thought of that literally makes me sick right now. I don’t want to go find a new job. At least not right now. The woman who died most likely died of a heart attack. She’d been having chest pains off and on for a few months. She hid it from me (I was her boss and she didn’t want me to think she couldn’t do her job). She finally did go get checked out and had a few different cardiology appointments. She told me that they didn’t find anything. At the time, I told her to get a second opinion. She didn’t. And she died in the car heading out for a vacation with her husband. She was less than 5 miles from home. That being said, it should be motivation for me to stay on course. And some days it is, but other days, like today, I just don’t give a F. I think it may be part of the grieving process, I don’t know. Tonight though, I was thinking that maybe I should look into counseling. I’m the mean time, this is a safe place for me and I just wanted to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening. Now I can go to sleep without all these thoughts overwhelming me. Goodnight.

Posted by Jen Martin at 2022-09-23 00:41:56 UTC