Hey there. I’m just coming on because this is a safe space and I’m losing it. This week I have some really emotional stuff going on & I just am not keeping it together and I don’t care. I know it’s the emotions talking and I need to get through it and feel them, but it’s hard. Without getting too deep, Friday is the 14th anniversary of my dad’s death. He passed away as a result of a single car accident. We believe he had a heart attack but due to his injuries, we will never know for sure. I was close with him and was devastated. I had so much rage afterwards. It took me years to get back to myself and learn how to deal with not having him physically in my life. At the time, my mom wasn’t emotionally ready to bury him. He was cremated & has been on her tv stand. Now, on his anniversary, she is having him buried at the local veteran’s cemetery in Rittman, Ohio. As the day draws closer, I can feel all of my rage coming back. I’m not sleeping well and I’m an emotional b****. I took the rest of the week off of work because I can’t focus and didn’t trust myself to not tell anyone to F off. I can’t deal with the pettiness of work drama right now. So I removed myself from the situation. I have been eating poorly the last few days. I just want to get past Friday and move on with life. I’ve said my goodbyes to my dad and had finally been at peace about it. I tried to be stronger, but I just don’t have it right now. I am thankful for this space that we all share. I have a community here and I just wanted to come on and ask for your prayers. Thank you. Here’s a picture of us from my wedding day in 2000.

Posted by Jen Martin at 2022-08-17 02:24:37 UTC