🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 After years of strict metabolic discipline, early morning “ghost protocol” workouts, and dodging ultra-processed foods like a seasoned ninja… I’ve officially decided to pivot. Starting today, I will be launching a brand new program called: “Carb Loading for Longevity™” That’s right… bagels are back, cereal is a superfood again, and I’ll be leading nightly ice cream “recovery sessions” for optimal metabolic flexibility. 🍦💪 My new motto? “If your blood sugar isn’t on a rollercoaster… are you even living?” I’ll also be replacing my post-meal walks with post-meal naps… for “glucose stabilization purposes.” 😴 And don’t worry - I’ll still be sharing tips… like the best time to eat donuts (answer: yes). … If you’ve gotten this far in reading my post, congratulations… April Fools’ Day 😄

Posted by Bob Collins at 2026-04-01 21:01:15 UTC