Tonight I added something to my “why”. I’ve always loved the water, but I think it has never felt so good as it did when I slid into the pool tonight and truly moved for the first time in two months since breaking my foot. It reawoke something in my soul. I can’t really explain it. As a former competitive swimmer and lifeguard, I clocked a lot of hours in pools and lakes during my first 25 years. But tonight was something special. It felt like freedom and grace and restoration to some state I didn’t even remember losing. I took a selfie afterwards because, I suppose, I hoped to figure it out by looking at my own face. I also took one with the super sweet college kids working at the pool who were so encouraging and helped me navigate the situation with my knee scooter. They could tell something important was happening, some small but important triumph or turning point. In 1974, I wore that red sun bonnet and my first little pink swimsuit and fell in love with water, crawling along Cape Cod’s chilly coastal edge. The story goes that nobody else was swimming due to the frigid water temps, but I cried hard and tried to wiggle out of my dad’s arms every time it was time to head to the blanket to warm up. I didn’t want to leave the water. Maybe tonight’s reaction was an echo of that first discovery of what it felt to move with the waves. I knew tonight, even though I was in a slightly shabby public pool, that there needs to be open water swimming in beautiful places in the coming years. Why have I spent the past 25 wearing a swim suit as little as possible and not frolicking in the water? It is sad I’ve robbed myself of that pleasure because of body shame. My body will never again look good in a swimsuit, but I can be a strong, confident, and joyful water frolicker again! Getting there is now part of my why! I’m googling open water swimming trips 😊

Posted by Kara C at 2024-03-23 03:00:36 UTC